The Art of Self-discipline

The Art of Self-discipline

Woman waking frazzled for The Art of Self-discipline by Lindy Bostrom

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING with a knot in the pit of my stomach. As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew I was never going to get everything done that was on my list today, much less be able to get some exercise. Overwhelm set in.

When setting goals and getting projects underway, oftentimes I’ll start with a blast of energy and momentum, but relying on passion and willpower alone doesn’t work. My plans fizzle and fall flat because there’s no structure to sustain them.

Can you relate? Why do many of us so often find ourselves in this state? I’ve been time-blocking my calendar, even making buffers between scheduled work & meetings. I try to break down tasks into smaller pieces, but I still underestimate how much time things take. It’s like trying to curb the flow of a waterfall!

Something always seems to interfere—it can be an unexpected, urgent need—but oftentimes it’s really just my own mind. 

What do I have to do, not just to get back on track, but stay on track?

I have come to think that staying on track is about self-discipline and I believe our society is plagued by a lack of it.

  • We see it in the divisions of the government—especially with name-calling and slandering.
  • We see it in our own impulsive, self-destructive decisions regarding drinking, consuming, spending, and exercise (or lack thereof.)
  • We see it in the aimless way we sometimes go about our days—unfolding into lives that lack planning and clarity; behaving in constant reaction to the external environment. 
  • We see it not only as over-indulgence but over-commitment where we bite off more than we can chew in visions of grandeur that don’t involve patience and persistence.

When an Olympic athlete wins the gold, we know they didn’t get there by making excuses when it was time to get up at 6am and practice in a thunderstorm, or when a personal setback threatened to derail the day or even the whole week. Somehow they obviously managed to stay on track. They have figured something out that is directly linked to their success. There’s something that gives them that edge. 

For a long time now, I’ve pondered what it takes to cultivate self-discipline. I’ve come up with seven components. I have the impulse to include an 8th: focus. But all seven of these components require focus—it’s the thread that connects them:

  1. Emotional Intelligence 
  2. Clarity 
  3. Commitment 
  4. Moderation 
  5. Self-respect 
  6. Action
  7. Accountability

Let’s go into each one in more detail, to understand more deeply what is required to develop self-discipline.

Emotional Intelligence

The mind plays tricks—justifying inaction.

“Oh, I can’t do my exercise this morning—I have to answer those important emails right away!” or “Just one more episode and then I’ll go to bed”

Three episodes later, finally going to sleep and then you oversleep in the morning so now you skip exercising because the whole day is behind the eight ball. How can we get a handle on our own behavior?

As Daniel Goleman’s book by the same name says, EI (Emotional Intelligence) is about making the distinction between the rational and emotional mind, requiring focused internal dialogue. Try to take a beat before reacting. Watch your emotions as if you’re just an observer, then use that position to make an intelligent, rational decision about how you want to respond to your feeling. This is much harder than it seems when you’re in the middle of heightened emotions, but it’s worth practicing.

Clarity

Say I want to make $200k/year as a painter, but I find it’s like pedaling uphill. I’m exhausted and feel like I’m on a never-ending hamster wheel trying to reach that goal!

Bringing more clarity to this vision is going to help manifest it. To make things crystal clear in my mind, I imagine working only 20 hours per week. And I only work with clients that have exciting projects and great communication skills. I also have a clean, quiet, studio with comfortable decor and lots of natural light; a small kitchen with plants and a place to sit with visitors, and outside there are trees and flowers and singing birds. How’s that for a clear, specific vision?

I’m not worried about how it’s going to happen now. It’s important to just get really clear on my vision. 

Commitment

Have you ever said you wanted something, and that you were “going to do it…tomorrow”? Then tomorrow comes and you hit the snooze button. Talking about it before you do it can deflate the momentum. The trap of becoming enamored with the statement over the action can happen that way. 

Speak it. Write it. Bring it to mind several times a day. Set reminders. Say it with conviction. Promise yourself. Be prepared to sacrifice. Emails will go unanswered, shopping will have to wait. Telling other people can backfire. Tell yourself and prove it to yourself by doing it before you say anything to anyone.

Moderation

“I am going to do a 2-hour yoga practice followed by a 90-minute walk every morning before I start my work day!”

Have you ever said something that seemed like such a great idea, but then the reality of maintaining it every day hit you after day two?

Know yourself. If you’re going to start a new habit, it must feel easy. There should be a response like “I can do that, no problem.” Resistance in the beginning is going to be there anyway. Give yourself the best chance by starting a habit first—something you won’t skip. Spend five to 10 minutes a day—you can expand it later. Once you have the excitement of seeing results and satisfaction that you’re sticking to it, it will fuel you.

Self-respect

“I wanted to stop eating cookies and watching two hours of television every night. But here I go again. What a loser I am! I might as well give up.”

Have you been there?

Self-respect means that you keep your promises to yourself and you are also gentle and kind with yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. It means that sometimes you’ll slip, sometimes you’ll falter. Watch yourself as an observer—as a parent watching their child, or as an older sibling or aunt/uncle/friend. Gently prod yourself. Instead of saying “You’re such a loser!” say “You can do this. Keep trying.” 

Action

“I was going to send out those emails to prospective clients. I know I need to do it! But every time I’m about to, something gets in the way. I have to finish a task on my list. or I just feel like they’re going to hate me. They’ll say ‘STOP! Take me off your list!’ I don’t want to bother anyone…”

Taking action is where the rubber meets the road. Nothing happens without it. Planning, research, and preparation are all necessary, but they mean nothing without infusing these steps with action.

Action can also mean inaction. There are things that will get in the way that must be sacrificed. Counter that “one more episode” response with your vision and realize at that moment that the one decision you make right then and there can determine your ultimate success. Keep the vision. Keep the faith. Keep taking action.

And fear? It’s natural, but it doesn’t have to stop you. Be willing to make mistakes. Make a fool of yourself. Even risk annoying people. Try things that don’t work. Do it all with the perspective of learning and growing. We can only learn so much from theory—we must experience to truly learn and grow.

Get Help

“I’m going to get up at 7am and do 100 sit-ups everyday! Then I’ll create and send my newsletter every week!”

Nice vision, but what happens when you don’t do it? Nothing. So it starts and stops in fits and sputters. It gets pushed to the back burner more often than not.

Knowing yourself means knowing what you need to do to stay on track. For many it’s having a partner that is there for the sole purpose of holding you accountable to what you say you’re going to do. But your partner must be equally as committed to holding you accountable as you are to doing this work.

It’s often better to hire a coach or trainer rather than asking a friend or family member to do this. I had a mentor that always said: “No one will invest in you more than you’re willing to invest in yourself.” 

_______________________________

Remember that every one of these seven components must be infused with focus. It’s the glue that will hold it all together. Focus means harnessing your attention. Steeling yourself against distractions. Cultivating awareness of not only what’s happening outside of you, but also inside. With deliberate focus on each of the seven steps in the art of self-discipline, you’ll start to gain some momentum.

Hell, you just might find yourself waking up well-rested and energized—ready to start a new day.

 

Need help creating your vision? Getting through the list of marketing goals, planning and execution? I’m here to help! Schedule a free, no pitch consultation with me now!

Messages from Within

Messages from Within

Dreaming woman

There’s an internal storyline we all have that knows a lot more than our conscious, chattering mind does.

Whether it’s in dreams or just quiet time, things come up from deep within, giving us messages, sometimes in code. It requires contemplation to decode them, and only you can do it—someone else will project their own storyline onto it.

Messages from this place tell us the truth that is stored within. They tell us the true meaning of our actions—where they’re leading us to, and where to go next.

When you’re stumped or feeling blocked with your plans and vision, empty your mind to make space for the deeper truth and guidance to emerge.

 

 

Staying Alive

Staying Alive

Hand giving medicine to another hand with marketing icons ©Lindy Bostrom

A few weeks ago, I came down with possibly the worst flu I’ve had in my life, and after 60 years, that’s no small thing. Yikes. 

I wondered if I was actually going to die. Seriously. I thought: “Is this how it’ll go down? Pain & agony—a headache that is squeezing my brain so hard I can hardly breathe, much less think. Then it gets so bad that I black out. And that’s it. Off into the mysterious void…”

Fortunately, it wasn’t my time yet (obviously). My partner took me to emergency where they ran tests, put me on IV and told me it was a nondescript virus and not covid.

I eat healthy, exercise regularly and take my vitamins. But a virus is an opportunist. The doctor put me on some very effective pain meds—there are exceptions to clean living!—and I started to feel better. I felt soooo very grateful. 

I realized that all the stress I regularly subject myself to is largely unnecessary. After all, I’m alive! I even have food, water, a place to live, and a loving, dedicated partner, to boot.

Which brings me to this: 

You may think the health of your business is good…you’re doing all the right things and managing to keep it rolling. 

But are you prepared for the inadvertent “virus” that could come along at any time? A drop in sales, the loss of a revenue source, or an ongoing sense of overwhelm that’s compromising your business immune system? 

What if you had some great meds that could remedy your stress and reduce your risks? By “meds” I mean help. What if you had someone that could pick up the slack on the stuff that you’re not that good at, and don’t even enjoy, when it comes to branding, marketing and promotion?

What if you could juuuust focus on your clients, knowing that the business is being sustained, because you have some good drugs (ummm, I mean help!)

Help like:

• An updated Brand Identity attracting your ideal audience & their top-most concerns

• A freshly Branded Website that’s an effective online sales tool

• A Customized Marketing Plan that focuses your promotional efforts to reach ideal prospects

Think about it. Imagine how it would feel to have…

• A steady, reliable business that brings you security & peace of mind
• A monetary foundation that gives you the freedom to operate with a high level of integrity
• Ease in your day-to-day, so you’re able to focus on what you’re really passionate about because the sales & marketing is doing its job

When you’re ready to chat about the possibilities of a business that’s sustained with vibrant communications and a healthy base of ideal clients, drop me a line.

After all, you’re alive! Why not make the most of it?

 

Writing for your Website: 7 Best Practices

Writing for your Website: 7 Best Practices

writing for your website

WRITING FOR YOUR WEBSITE TAKES TIME, but with the proper considerations, you can get it done fairly quickly and effectively.

One of the most common obstacles I come across with clients is getting the final “copy,” or text, from them that will comprise a large part of the content on their site. Almost every time the schedule goes off-the-rails, it’s delayed because the client has underestimated the time it takes to come up with their content. 

No one knows & understands your business like you do, so even if you hire a professional copywriter, you’re still going to need to actively participate in the process. Also keep in mind that even the best writers are not necessarily versed in writing for the web, so if you do hire someone, make sure they have experience in this area.

Below are 7 best practices for writing for your website:

1. THE GOAL

Establish the ultimate goal of the website. Is it more sales? More clients? Higher paying clients? More visibility online? Always have the goal in mind as you write.

2. THE AUDIENCE

So much of the time, when you start writing for your website you want to talk about all of the great credentials and experience the company has. The truth is, visitors really want to know if you understand them — learning about you is secondary. Know your audience & their pain points. Pain points are areas of top concern for your customers. What problem are they trying to solve?

3. KEEP IT SHORT

Rarely does anyone jump in and read a page full of text word by word. This study shows that scannable text calls attention to key information, lightening your readers’ cognitive load. Draw your reader in with short snippets of information they can skim through. A website should never take the place of a live conversation or the experience they’ll have as a paying customer. Don’t try to explain every detail of everything on your site. Let them contact you or sign up for more.

4. MAKE AN OUTLINE

Create “sections” using a hierarchy of 3 tiers: Headlines, Sub-heads and Body copy, each explaining your point in more detail.

  • A Headline is a clear title. It should give the visitor confirmation that they’ve come to the page they intended. Don’t try to be clever or you’ll lose your readers to confusion.
  • Sub-heads should always define the headline more clearly.
  • Body copy goes into more detail—but it should still be concise.

5. BREAK IT UP

Photos or illustrations that support your content can be used to make the page more visually appealing, but a “visual” break can also be a few words from the article or a quote. Both would be designed as larger text that is set apart from your body copy. It should say something that will illuminate a strong point in your copy.
Another way to break up text and make it more skimmable is to use bulleted or numbered lists.

6. YOUR “VOICE”

It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. What’s your  brand’s personality? Is it casual? sophisticated? playful? Whatever emotions you want your audience to experience by interacting with your company should be characterized in the way you are writing for your website. For example, I can say “Contact Us” but I also might say “Give us a holler!” See the difference?

7. CALLS TO ACTION

A Call-to-Action is the one thing you want your visitors to do as a result of coming to that page. It could be the same for multiple pages — “Contact Us” or “Sign Up for Our Mailing List” or even “Book a Free Session.” Always have a main Call to Action for every page and be specific.

I hope this is a helpful guide to get started writing for your website — and if you follow these steps before venturing into the design phase, you’re much more likely to stay on schedule and launch on time.

Need help writing for your website? We offer Brand-Smart Web Design packages that include copywriting. We also help established businesses with refining their existing copy. Feel free to reach out and let’s explore the possibilities.

Distraction and the Brain-Body Connection

Distraction and the Brain-Body Connection

Distraction and the Brain-Body Connection

Distracted computer mom

I wake up every morning with an agenda that starts with meditation, yoga and a brisk walk outside. Two hours later, when I finally get to my desk with a hot cup of tea and some morsel to hold me over until lunch, I feel I am always behind the 8-ball. The To-Do list is compartmentalized into scheduled time blocks throughout the day in an attempt to control and manage my output. Today, even before I started on the first block (completing this post,) an urgent email came through that I had to address. Then I realized I never really completed that invoice I had started last night, so I quickly got that done. Now ½ hour behind with a meeting scheduled in ½ hour, the day is rapidly cascading into evening with a domino effect that will leave at least one of my scheduled time blocks unchecked.

Picking up on my last post, 5 Tips to Stop Annoying Your Prospects, the subject of Attention has proven to be worthy of a deeper dive into the nuanced aspects of how this function of our psyches affects us on multiple levels. Originally planned as one post, as I have researched and read more about it, I have decided to break it up into several parts, this being Part 1.

The Psyche/Mind

With the phone and computer at our fingertips 24/7, we have allowed these devices to obscure our clear mental space—my consciousness. We live in a world dominated by technology. Even when we power down the computer and turn the mobile devices to silent, we often move to the television to “relax.” I’ve read that the most effective way to clear the mind is to curtail all “input” of information. Watching TV is still input, adding to the information already cluttering our minds. When does anyone ever sit in silence? If you ever find yourself or someone else in this state, the impulse is to ask, “What are you doing?” We have come to a collective mentality of constant “doing,” as if this is the overreaching virtue of humanity.

Why can’t I focus on one thing at a time and just methodically get it all done?

In my meditations, I often see more clearly how tenuous it is to maintain a thread of deliberate thought. Being meticulous about what is allowed to come into the forefront of our consciousness is a challenge we are facing as a culture. It’s why writers go to a remote cabin in the woods when working on a book. To maintain focus and escape distraction.

Environment & Technology

It’s easy to blame social media, our phones, flashing advertisements—all part of the sea of deliberate distractions in which we swim. But is that just a cop-out? Could it be that what’s happening with these “deliberate distractions” is that we have not addressed our own addictive, undisciplined behaviors associated with them? It’s not easy, and not only advertisers, but software designers and social media companies are becoming more and more sophisticated in their manipulations of our attention to their gain. Their products & services are designed to be addictive!

While emerging technology exists in service of creating a barrier to interruptive technology, our own brains are ultimately responsible, and they are overtaxed and faltering. The truth is, the neurological tools we have are ancient. Every time you check your phone you get a hit of “new information” dopamine, triggering addictive behavioir. When someone “steals” your attention, how do you get it back? Taking a good hard look at ourselves and how we respond to the world around us is part of it, but I think it’s going to take more than that.

The more intentional we are about communication and collaboration, the better it works with the human mind. Technology may have less to do with it than we think. It was supposed to make getting things done easier, but database-driven software telling us what to do actually DOESN’T WORK. The reality: work requires non-linear thinking & effort—it’s hard. But our brains are always looking for the quick fix – the shortcut. 

The Brain-Body Connection

“Multi-tasking” doesn’t exist—the human brain was not designed that way. It’s really “Switch-tasking,” says Cal Newport, author of Deep Work. Distraction has a large cognitive impact—every time you divert your attention to something else, even for a moment, it takes the brain 5-15 minutes to get back to the level of focus you had before diverting your attention. One study shows people check their email every 6 minutes. This leads to even more unproductivity.

The Breath

Shallow breathing makes us sluggish and tired. Rather than getting up and moving, it is common to go for another cup of coffee or other stimulants, which provide a temporary lift followed by a sharp drop in energy. I sometimes get up and dance around for 15 minutes instead of having caffeine in an afternoon slump, and have found that it is often even more helpful in elevating alertness than ingesting stimulants, if I can get myself to do it! Good music helps, and making it fun is key.

The more we move, the more deeply we breathe. Deep breathing can also be practiced without movement with many of the same benefits, as with the yogic practice of pranayama. Pulling more oxygen into the lungs increases blood flow and can open arteries, restoring the body and brain with fresh oxygenation.

There is a growing interest in clearing toxins from the body with diet and clean air that also affects brain function. Perhaps “toxic information” should be added to this “detox” approach, connecting mind and body. Eastern philosophies like yoga and martial arts have offered wisdom in this regard for centuries.

There’s so much more that can be explored with the brain-body connection regarding attention, but I’ll segue here to the context of this fascinating subject within marketing.

Marketing and Attention

In marketing, getting the attention of prospects is primary to any other steps that might make the sale. That said, as growth-oriented businesses, annoyance and anger is not the kind of attention we want to garner. Master marketer, Seth Godin, wrote the following about “The simple but difficult marketing flip:”

“From ‘Pay attention, I want you to buy what I made.’ To ‘I’ve been paying attention, and I think I can offer you what you want.’”

The flip is to give your attention first rather than demanding the attention of others. It makes sense, but this is not how traditional marketing has done it. Examining how the human brain and psyche works is a great stepping stone to creating lasting relationships with your audience. There are no easy answers—it’s an ongoing conversation and I invite your comments.

Look for my next post on attention in the next month or so, and in the meantime, if you’d like a little 1:1 time to brainstorm on your company’s approach to giving your audience your attention, set up a call, or for new prospective clients, a free session with me.

5 Tips to Stop Annoying Your Prospects

5 Tips to Stop Annoying Your Prospects

Attention Overload

TODAY I RECEIVED A TEXT MESSAGE FROM A PROSPECTIVE CLIENT I spoke with a few days ago. I was in a meeting, but took a quick glance to find that it was an automated promotional message for her business.

Even though I know her and am interested in building a relationship with her, I found the automated text invasive and off-putting. I let her know that I prefer she email me with such messages and to leave texting for personal, direct communications. Thankfully she immediately apologized and removed me from that list.

Take my money, but don’t you dare ask for my attention.

Attention is the hottest commodity around today. It’s no longer about money. In fact, people pay, oftentimes lots of money, in order to block demands for attention so they can focus and clear their minds.

We live in a world where it’s not just the clinically diagnosed that have issues with “Attention Deficit.” The idea that it’s “just 5 minutes of your time” has nothing to do with it. The effort it takes to divert your attention for those 5 minutes, or even 1 minute, and the increased effort it takes to get back on track with what you were doing & thinking, is disabling and desperately counterproductive. We are starting to realize that “multitasking” is a fallacy. That in order to truly accomplish anything well, we must keep both eyes on the target, excluding all else. It’s hard enough to do this when our attention isn’t continuously being demanded upon.

As business owners, how do we reach people without invading their privacy or becoming an annoyance they just want to block? In comes that dirty word: “marketing.” It’s a word no one really wants to hear. I recently came across a website called “everyonehatesmarketers.” This is a truth.

That’s why this movement against traditional “marketing” really resonates with me. Mark Schaeffer calls it The Marketing Rebellion, which is the title of his book. We have gone to great lengths to block ads, stop unwanted callers and even pay money to watch programs without ads.

“FREE” is a Lie

We’ve learned that “Free” is a lie. Everything always comes at a cost. Whether it’s having a sign-up form or video ad thrown in your face, blocking the thing you came to watch or read—or even more invasively, seeing an incoming call from what appears to be a person in your local area, only to find a robotic message about something being sold that you have no interest in—the breach of privacy, trust and personal space is everywhere, like flies in a barnyard!

No One Really Cares How Great You Are

As business owners, we have worked hard to perfect what we have to offer, so naturally we want to expound on that. Reality check: no one really cares how great you are! (Sorry.) Your audience’s top-most concern must be understood if you want to truly reach them. Lead with identifying their problem.

5 Tips for Non-annoyance

Next time you think you just need to post more, push more advertisements through or sign-up for a sales funnel marketing plan, ask yourself these 5 questions first:

  1. Is it going to reach my ideal customer through the channels I’m using?
  2. Does it solve a problem my ideal customer is struggling with?
  3. Is it especially for my ideal customer? (Think about this: “It’s for everybody” actually means “It’s for nobody.”)
  4. Is my product or service really and truly the perfect solution to their need?
  5. Is my primary message about them? (Tempting as it is, beware of making it about you and your offerings.)

If you can answer YES to all 5 questions above, it’s less likley that you’ll annoy a bunch of people that have no interest in what you’re selling. And you won’t need to reach so many people either.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes. And if you’d like some help determining who your ideal customer is and what problem they’re trying to solve, sign up for a free 30-minute consultation (and I really mean FREE) with me.

Lindy Bostrom Photo

Lindy Bostrom

Lindy Bostrom officially launched Bostrom Graphics in 2003 in California after working for more than a decade as an Art Director and Graphic Designer in NYC. Bostrom Graphics develops branding and marketing strategies for small businesses. We have vital interests in working with businesses with humanitarian causes, health & wellness, and advocates for freedom of expression using mediums like filmmaking, writing and public speaking.

We take pride in maintaining the highest level of integrity and accountability in building trusting, growth-oriented relationships.

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